Random Stuff
by alkaidx10
Summary: This is a random fic that can be about anything really but mostly devil may cry cuz i love that game. plus this idea was by my best friend just for fun so i hope you love my sillyness lol
1. Chapter 1

**(This story is just random stuff like short stories of this and that it could be anything I might make a short fic of but they will have all different titles, some stories I own some I don't and I only own my own OC's) **

**Pizza Fight**

Dante as at his desk hungry as hell but he had no money for pizza since he didn't have a job in 2 weeks and he was starting to get bored as hell.

"Why is there no jobs like why are there no demons trying to kill people!" Dante shouted.

"Shut up!" Vergil yelled from the kitchen. "You can eat other things besides pizza and ice cream you know."

"Don't tell me what to eat!" Dante yelled.

Vergil rolled his eyes and went back to cooking pork chops with white rice and corn. More likely Dante wouldn't eat it but Patty and he would since they liked to eat healthy once in a while.

Dante got up from his desk and took out his play boy to look at the sexy pic's but even seeing boobs and pussies was not enough. "THAT"S IT IM GETTING A PART TIME JOB!" He shouted loud.

Both Vergil and Patty looked at each other then started to bust out laughing. "Oh really Dante you don't know the first thing about getting a real human job" Vergil mocked.

"Shut up I will learn if humans can do it I can, and guess what I'm gonna work at the pizza store." Dante smiled. "Then I can make my own pizza!" Dante jumped up and ran so fast out the door.

Dante ran to the pizza shop first to try to get a job but the owner wasn't stupid he knew very well Dante would just eat all the pizza. Dante tried every pizza shop in town and they all said they were not hiring.

Dante was about to give up until he saw it at job at the male strip club. He didn't think it was a good idea but then more girls for him to have and to show them how big he really was.

He wanted inside to the owner, "Umm I saw your sign and you're hiring?" He asked looking around.

"Well yes…hey your Dante the devil hunter I know you but why are you coming here for a job?" The owner asked.

"Well I have not been called in for a job for like 2 weeks and I need money for food it will only be part time." He said.

"No I can't have you strip for money how about you sing once and while here for money?" The owner asked.

Dante thought about it for a minute then he nodded his head. He loved to sing and act all silly on stage and if it was to get girls and his pizza than hell yeah.

"Okay you start tomorrow night good luck."

Dante left the strip club and walked home to find that dinner was out away for him. He took it out and started to heat it up to eat it.

"So did you find a job?" Vergil asked from the chair while reading a book.

Dante put his dishes in the dishwasher and walked out to see him. "Yes I have and I'm going to be singing at the fox den every night."

Vergil looked at him than started to laugh his ass off, "Really the male strip club wow you must really want pizza if you're willing to go that low for money!" He started to laugh again.

"Shut up it's not funny! It's not like I'm gonna strip or anything!" Dante crosses his arms.

Vergil got up from the chair and walked over to Dante, "Whatever you say little brother have fun with that." He said as he walked to his bedroom.

The next night Dante ran over to the fox den to start his job for the night even though it was only singing but it was still money.

Dante got on the stage and started to sing the first song of the night.

_Come and break me off_

_Come and take me on_

_Come and break me off_

_Come and take me on_

_Don't need Detention, I'm the snitch; After school make me your bitch_

_In the hall, flash your tits; Behind the desk, suck my dick_

_Today's lesson plan: it's how to give a rim job_

_Bury my face in your ass and beat me til your cock throbs_

_Seesaw, Seesaw, Slide my face up and down_

_On the desk, By lockers, Fuck me on the playground_

_I'll make time to get my A from a D_

_I missed class for this now motherfucking rape me_

_Teacher, Teacher, Teacher, Show me your chest_

_Ring the school bell, It's time for recess_

_Teacher, Teacher, Teacher, I need an A+_

_Take off my pants and make me start to bust_

_Teacher, Teacher, Teacher, I've been a dirty whore_

_I want your nails on my back like nails on a chalkboard_

_Teacher, Teacher, Teacher, keep me after class_

_I've been a bad boy now take that paddle to my ass_

_I've been a bad little boy and I need to be punished_

_Will you slap me, Tap me, Pull my hair and make me scream "uh!"_

_As a matter of fact, Will you jump me in attack?_

_Will you fuck my til I bleed, Give me what I fucking need_

_Teacher, Teacher, Fuck me like my preacher; Be so naughty, Do my body_

_Take me down like you take this shotty, Go ahead and work your body_

_Wipe it with your cum sheild, ooh rated X, Deal.._

_Like Jenna Jameson: "We can be more than just friends..."_

_Teacher, Teacher, Teacher, Show me your chest_

_Ring the school bell, It's time for recess_

_Teacher, Teacher, Teacher, I need an A+_

_Take off my pants and make me start to bust_

_Teacher, Teacher, Teacher, I've been a dirty whore_

_I want your nails on my back like nails on a chalkboard_

_Teacher, Teacher, Teacher, Keep me after class_

_I've been a bad boy now take that paddle to my ass_

_Like my dick in my pants; It's going up, up, up_

_Like your mouth on my shaft; It's going down, down, down_

_You can raise me up, You can break me off_

_I'm gonna fuck you for an A cause I gotta get my play_

_Like my dick in my pants; It's going up, up, up_

_Like your mouth on my shaft; It's going down, down, down_

_You can raise me up, You can break me off_

_I'm gonna fuck you for an A cause I gotta get my play_

_Teacher, Teacher, Teacher, I need an A+_

_Take off my pants and make me start to bust_

_Teacher, Teacher, Teacher, Show me your chest_

_Ring the school bell, Yes, It's time for recess_

_Teacher, Teacher, Teacher, keep me after class_

_I've been a bad boy so take that paddle to my ass_

_Teacher, Teacher, Teacher, I've been a dirty whore_

_I want your nails on my back like nails on a chalkboard_

_Be a whore for an A, Got a couple of D's_

_Hey, I can get real horny with B's_

_Gotta take off your clothes but slow like a stripper_

_Slide down my pole, I think I should tip her_

_My desk is gonna slap that ass, The test; Oral, I think I'll pass_

_Throw me up against the desk, Throw me up against the desk_

_I think *ha ha* I think I'm gonna pass this test_

_Teacher, Teacher, Teacher, You're a sex angel from above_

_I'll be your book worm and give you all my love_

Dante took a bow while everyone in the room was going crazy over the song even though it was very sexual. As he got off the stage he got many girls' numbers from that.

"Oh wow Dante looks likes like you're a hit." Vergil smiled.

"Told you and look what I made over 500$ in one night pizza time!" Dante laughed.

Vergil followed Dante to the pizza shop since he wanted some too.

Dante ordered 6 pizza's and took them back to devil may cry with Vergil. "Oh man it's so good to eat this!" Dante started to pig out like crazy.

"You gonna keep working there?" Vergil asked while eating some pizza too.

"Hell yeah it keeps pizza on the table!" Dante laughed.

**(There we go I was running out of ideas for this one lol but it was funny :3 there will be more random stuff time to time when im not busy or doing my Zelda fic love you all) **


	2. Chapter 2

**(This story is just random stuff like short stories of this and that it could be anything I might make a short fic of but they will have all different titles, some stories I own some I don't and I only own my own OC's) **

**The dark job**

Ikuto always loved his little sister Alkaid but he had moved on and went with the devil twins Dante and Vergil. It made him feel left out that his little sister didn't need him no more and that the step mother Kim was now being a bitch at him after Alkaid left.

Ikuto got a job far off in the USA working with umbrella helping them make the T-virus since Ikuto was so smart with stuff like that.

"How is it going?" Wesker asked looking at him.

"It's going very well sir the virus is doing wonderful" He smiled and went back to work.

Wesker looked at Ikuto and saw that he had cat ears and a tail and blue hair. "You're not human are you?"

Ikuto turned to face him, "No I'm a neko sir." He eyed him with his sliver blue eyes.

Wesker smiled and patted Ikuto on the back. "I think I could use someone like you to help me since you're a demon and all."

Ikuto's eyes went wide and then he smiled big. "Really sir! You really mean it?"

Wesker nodded his head and told Ikuto to follow him so he could get into training. Ikuto was very good at fighting but not the best since he didn't like to get mad and he had no anger within him.

"Ikuto you need to let your heart go black let the anger and hatred free you will fight better." Wesker said. "It will set you free."

Ikuto closed his eyes to let his mind relax and think of all the bad things in his life. He saw like his own world that he made up in a way, it was nothing but humans dying, killing, bleeding, and fighting.

He took out his metal claws to get ready to fight, in the room was only 10 zombies but in Ikuto'a mind he saw an army of them and demons waiting to fight. The snow was falling hard and fast on him and he could feel the coldness from it even though it was only from his mind.

Ikuto jumped up and ran at them at full speed like a race car but a bit faster slicing one right in half with the blood flying into this face, since he was a demon the zombie bites didn't hurt him much.

He jumped over and jet and clawed it until it blew up behind him with a wall a fire all around him and the zombies. *he turned around to find a really big demon thing with a big sword ready to attack him.

Ikuto jumped back but not so close to the fire and ran at him as fast as he could and jumped over the zombies he was high up in the air and clawed the demon right in half, he was now covered in blood from everything he had just killed.

Wesker could see that Ikuto was doing very good and knew he was going to be the best right hand man ever. "Set yourself free Ikuto…" He whispered into the mic.

Ikuto's eyes turned red as blood and he started to smile like he was having fun killing and he was. Ikuto killed the rest of the zombies and some of the doctors as well since Ikuto had lost his mind. He went on a big killing spree killing everyone that came his way it was even too much for Wesker to handle he needed to think of something.

"Hey Ikuto I got something for you" He said bringing in a needle with the X-virus in it, the X-virus was only made for demons that couldn't control their powers it was very strong and it would calm Ikuto down very fast.

Ikuto looked at wesker thinking he was up to something. "What is it?" he asked.

"It nothing much but it will make you like me but stronger." Wesker sat down next to Ikuto with the needle in his hand.

Ikuto glared at him soon going to rip his head off for bossing him around. "Oh really now!"

Wesker grabbed Ikuto by the neck to hold him down even though it was hard as hell. "This will calm you down!" Wesker yelled as he stabbed Ikuto in the neck with it.

Ikuto kicked Wesker off of him and he was laughing like crazy and had his claw to Weskers eyes going to rip them out but out of nowhere his body went numb and then he fell to the ground out cold.

Wesker picked Ikuto up and took him to his room to get some rest, Wesker could of easily killed him but he didn't want to he loved the power Ikuto had and he was going to use him as his right.

The next morning Ikuto woke up with his head hurting like hell but couldn't remember much the last thing he could remember was training and that was it.

"WHAT! I was out for a month! I didn't even know that!" He shouted. "But how was I out that long?"

"After your training I gave you the X-virus and you passed out for a month." Wesker didn't want to tell Ikuto that he went crazy for a month killing everything in his path. "Yeah it happens it takes time for your body to get use to the virus that's all don't worry."

"Okay as long its okay with you sir." Ikuto started to drink a glass of milk.

"Im fine with it so don't worry, but yeah so Ikuto would you like to by my right hand man or demon?" Wesker smiled.

"What! You really mean it?" He smiled.

"Yes I do I love your powers and I think you and me and take on the world with our powers together what do you says and I will make sure your sister Alkaid won't get hurt I will let her join us." He smiled.

Ikuto nodded his head. "I will join you but you can't hurt Alkaid or the deal is off I love my sister more than anything!" Ikuto snapped.

"You love her as your sister or more? It seems you're in love with her." He looks at Ikuto with his brow raised.

"I might be in love with her but there is nothing I can do with that she is my sister and she only sees me as her brother nothing more like I do. I know it's wrong to be in love with your sister but I can't help myself." He frowns.

Wesker thought that was very fucked up and he shook it off, "Okay than well I can help her be yours and love you more than just a brother if you wish it." He smiles.

"Fine deal I will help you forever Wesker and I will have my sister in my arms forever and away from those half devil Dante and Vergil! She will love only me."

**(I know this one was very short but like I said these are random and some are behind the story something I ever type lol some will be long some wont whatever idea comes to mind love you all.) **


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